--In lieu of giving flowers I shaved a rose into my back hair
--I forgot to refrigerate the bouquet of bacon
--I proposed to her in the drive-thru line at Taco Bell
--I faxed her a sexy picture of my pimply butt
--I dressed up like cupid and shot an arrow into her spleen
--I convinced her mom to do a three-way with us
--Instead of giving her flowers I shaved a rose into her back hair
--I cut our romantic dinner short so I could watch Faces Of Death 19
--I gave her the key to my heart. Then I changed the locks.
--While she was napping, I tattooed my name onto her forehead
--I spent more on my oil change than I did on her earrings
--Turns out a real human heart in a box isn't as romantic as you'd think
--Since I was out of town, I made the hooker wear my girlfriend's picture over her face