Tony's Demands To Be Met Before Returning to Marty's Corner
--Marty has to continue to buy
frilly things for my birthday.
--All band managers subject to full body cavity searches.
--Marty has to stop calling me his "filthy little hairless
puppy."
--Marty has to start calling me Big Big Clyde
--My new personal assistant must polish my nipple rings
twice a day
--I want a pony. A pretty one. And a kayak.
--Whoever stole my sequined thong, I want it back
--20 minutes of every show will be devoted to me reading my
poems about fudge
--Next time we go to Taco Bell, I don't open my wallet
--"Marty's Corner" will now be called "Stinky Boy and Pretty
Boy"
--I want Marty to use his influnce to restore order to Iraq
--I like bacon
--The Marty's Corner medical plan needs to cover
gerbil-related mishaps
--When I drop the soap in the shower I expect the crew to
know what to do
--Julian must stop "accidentally" rubbing against me in the
green room.
--Someone else has to shave Marty's back
--No more "crew meetings" in Marty's bed
--I wanna meet Tex Ritter or someone cool like that.
--I want Marty's moustache
--How about more time devoted to snuff?
--Someone has to clean the taco meat out of my underwear
--Marty has to give me a vasectomy live on the air
--If Star Jones ever appears on the show I get to ride her
like a kid's party bouncy bouncer
--Leo needs to play more Air Supply
--I get to promote my new product: Tony's Clam Sauce For Men
