Definitive Signs Your Movie Isn't Going To Do Well At Sundance
--The screenplay was written by
your hamster
--It stars two screwdrivers, a stuffed dolphin and a guy
named Tim Cruise.
--The Park City police keep picking you up and dropping you
at the Nevada border
--Following a test screening, the county morgue is suddenly
full of
popcorn-related suicides
--The New York Times' A.O. Scott put out a hit on you.
--Colin Powell went before the UN to declare your movie a
WMD.
--You can't go anywhere in Park City without being chased by
an angry mob
--Your viral video promotion campaign gave syphilis to 3000
people
--Pauly Shore wants to be in the sequel
--Roger Ebert chewed off his thumb to avoid reviewing the
film
--The only company interested in buying the film is
Sony/Taliban Pictures.
--Simpleton movie dude Ben Lyons loved it
--Robert Redford melted your snowman
