You're A Hardcore Michael Jackson Fan
--You're 45 and still go to
Boy Scout meetings
--You drink wine from a sippy cup
--You also find Corey Feldman mysteriously attractive
--You find yourself saying, "I wish he was dangling me out a
window"
--You've had more facial reconstruction surgery than...
well.... than Michael Jackson
--You spontaneously combust in front of Pepsi Machines
--Everybody thinks you're a wierdo too.
--You blow your personal fortune on defense lawyers
--You've trained your dog to moonwalk
--You have a petting zoo in your bathtub
--Sometimes Macaulay Culkin sleeps over at your house
--People also refer to you as a "Man-child."
--Despite having two children you're also a virgin
--If Michael is convicted you will spend all your time
searching for the "real pederasts"
--You named your gearshift "Billie Jean"
--As far as women are concerned, your pants are "Neverland"
