Campaign Slogans for Marty's City Council Run
11) Marty. He won't sleep with your pets like that other guy.
10) Vote Marty. He hasn't wet the bed since 1999.
9) Marty. Proof that anti-psychotic medication can make you a functional member of society.
8) If you don't vote for Marty you might as well kill yourself right now.
7) Marty. He knows the alphabet.
6) Marty. He's the candidate who's against stuff.
5) Marty Shields. No animals were harmed while making his moustache.
4) Vote for Marty. His rack is 100% natural.
3) Marty. He knows where you live.
2) Vote Marty. He didn't go to Yale but he's a pretty nice guy until he gets mad, but he was never convicted in that whole manslaughter thing so you can't really hold that against him, and he just got these really cool shoes and he'll let you borrow them whenever you want but if you don't give them back then it's not really his fault if he hires some guys to come over to your house and shoot you in the knees, not that he'd do that, but if you borrow shoes you really should give them back and if you don't you shouldn't complain if guys show up and shoot you in the knees, and, besides, it's not like you're all smart and went to Yale or something. So just shut up and vote for Marty, you jerk.
1) Marty Shields. Because you can't vote for a monkey this time.
