A man afraid of a tarantula is a man who won't swim in two feet of water.

It's easy to blame others but not so easy to admit when you're wrong.  If you've not admitted that "little mistake at the hospital" there's no need to bring it up with your spouse.  Kiss and run.  The stars say you should bring a wrench.

Bring your own food to the petting zoo. 

Try to get some non-union voice-over work.