Right!  Eating less bacon.  Yeah, that's how you're going to turn your life around, smarty.  That should do it.  You're all set.  Make sure you stick close to the phone.  You don't want to miss that call from NASA.

Are you serious?  Come on!

Watch a fan oscillate for fifteen minutes.  Hand write a poem about it.  Eat the poem.  Think to yourself, "If I am what I eat I'm now a poem.  If I eat any more poems I will be a cannibal.  Why is that not true for blueberries?"