MCR2008

Our annual mandatory Marty's Corner retreat is in Pismo Beach this year, despite 2001's misadventures. (Looking forward to statute of limitations to run out on that soon. Right, Julian?)

For this year's trip, expect an exciting couple days of fun and re-education.

Here's the schedule for the weekend.

Friday
3:00PM: Check-in
4:00PM: Settle in
5:00PM: Pre-dinner snacks in Julian's suite.
5:45PM: Hillary Swank-off
6:00PM: Arrive in dining hall
6:15PM: John's introduction, "A Thousand And One Smooches: The First 14 Years"
7:15PM: Marty's lecture, "Invisible Pies: The Essence Of Being On TV"
10:00PM: Dinner is served
10:45PM: Curfew
11:00PM: Bed check
11:30PM: Lights out and tune your radios to 88.7 to pick up the all-night subliminal Marty's Corner motivational broadcast.


Saturday
4:30AM: Meet in front of hotel for 5K run
4:45AM: Continental breakfast (all 5K stragglers not arriving by 4:50 will not be fed)
5:30AM: Leo's morning lecture, "Crime and Rabbits: DJ Motivations In The iPod Era"
7:00AM: Showers
8:00AM: Free time (shuttles will be available to take you to the beach)
8:30AM: Morning session break-out lectures:
---Room A: Jerry will present "Crime and Rabbits: Why Comedy Is 90% Hard Consonants, 10% Gary Coleman"
---Room B: Tony will present "Lozenges, Hand Sanitizer, Chicken Noodle Soup: The Fine Art Of Preparedness"
---Room C: Robbie talks to the dead
11:55AM: Jerry, Tony and Robbie Q&A (Questions provided)
12:00PM: 30 minute lunch break. (Lunch not provided)
12:30PM: Bed check
1:00PM: Afternoon session break-out lectures:
---Room A: John will read from his paper entitled: "Thirsty For Fudge, Inadequate In Fontana"
---Room B: Patrick and Mandy will show vacation photos found in Goodwill stores across the country
---Room C: Chris will demonstrate cat grooming
3:00PM: Jokes about Utah
3:30PM: Tick examination
4:00PM: Marty will select one crew member to be fired
5:00PM: Bed check
5:45PM: Hillary Duff-off
6:00PM: Arrive in dining hall
6:15PM: Poetry slam
6:16PM: Doors close
6:20PM: Private swearing-in ceremony for all new cast and crew members
7:00PM: Cleaning crew arrives
8:00PM: Marty's keynote lecture, "Lost In The Monty Hall: How TV Is Better Than Murder"
10:00PM: Dinner is served (dinner not provided)
10:15PM: Curfew
10:30PM: Bed check
11:00PM: Lights out
11:30PM: Bed check
12:00AM: Bed check

Sunday
4:00AM: Bed check
4:30AM: Meet in front of hotel for 5K run
5:00AM: Continental breakfast
5:15AM: Bed check
6:00AM: Wally and David present their 3-D video tribute to Marty entitled "The Star Spangled Boner: Why Marty Is Three Times Better Than America"
7:30AM: Applause
9:00AM: Marty's Farewell Lecture "Shut Up You Stinking Morons: A Seven Part Free Verse Homily About My Love Of Kittens and Flaying My Enemies"
11:00AM: Final shower
11:45AM: Please check out of your rooms (wipe all fingerprints, please)
12:00PM: Leave all personal belongings in Lecture Room F
12:30PM: 15 minutes to phone family members and loved ones
12:45PM: Pick up your assigned color robe in Lecture Room M
1:00PM: Load onto your assigned bus

Please have your $500 down payment to John or Tony by next Wednesday at 5:00.

As in the past, you must have your own health insurance.

The $2500 fee is refundable only after full review by the Marty's Corner Ethics Committee.

Who's ready for the good times? Marty demands to know.